Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
I took this picture on our way to Tofino, its a surfer’s dream place. We stopped on the road just to view the breathtaking coherence of the river with the rocks and the tress on the mountain reaching to the sky, melting the medley of a picturesque nature you would like to bask in for while.
Nature does it easy, its harmony could depict the happiness it sings to its audience. We, the capital observes, needs just to stop and listen. Witness what nature has to offer. Take the time to see what nature has to offer. It is there for the taking.
Us, as humans, as people, is always aspiring for the happiness. Harmony brings that about. Gandhi said it is when all the things you think, say and do comes together in a blend that compliments and jibes to a perfect rhythm then there is happiness. Easier said than done. Its the great analogy, but let’s put it in perspective.
We want to make our family happy, how do we do it? We work 2-3 jobs at a time to make ends meet, have food on the table and to make sure they don’t starve and have most things provided for the family. But where are you? Are they happy you are not there? Does your thinking of the family’s happiness coincide with what you did and say? I don’t think so. What is the solution to this? This is common, I see it everywhere and once I was of them. I worry on the pre planning stages, I worry on the tomorrow, I worry for the debt, I worry . . .
Perspective is the answer. going down to basics, stripping bare is the key. 2-3 jobs, yes that is needed to pay the mortgage. The answer, let it go and rent. Ooops but that’s investment! Errr, invest when there’s extra not when you are killing yourself without sleep to keep the gazebo. How about debts? Oh yeah, consolidate, get a financial adviser and yeah, to its extreme, declare bankruptcy, sounds radical, but this stops the rat race. Then you know, that is the time, you can finally watch the sunset with your kids playing around you and you sipping your coffee or wine biding your time.
I was given an advise by a wise old friend. The family needs the basic, do not over exert your self with things. The family needs the husband and wife, if with kids, then just the mom and dad. Make it simple. You are still called a family even if you didn’t go to the Euro tour like your neighbor did last spring.
If you are muddled by happiness, having difficulty with harmony, stop and think then do. I did that and I’m happy. Not perfect, not affluent but happy.
Typical day in high school, walking home from school, saying good bye to the friends for the weekend, looking forward to sleeping late and waking up late. Reading books and staying on the phone for hours are just typical teenage norms. Knowing that after 2 years I have finished High School, in Asia we finish High School at 16. Then off to University, I even started to dream of having my own car. Mom told me she will buy me one so I could take her to work then I go to school. Ahh, that sounds bliss. My father works overseas and comes home periodically, I never really knew my father as he was always away.
After University then maybe a good work in a known company, boyfriend, husband then kids. There is a summary of a teenager growing to an adult life. Shouldn’t it be? We’ll it wasn’t for me. The day that had changed my life forever was on new years day when my mother gave in to cardiac arrest and died at 40. I was 14 and my brother was 11. We were left to a father that we barely know and to our grand parents who are ageing. Then my vicious journey began. My father left overseas after 2 months, he can’t bear the pain. I was too young to comfort my brother, I guess my grand mother and aunts did all the consoling. I cannot remember. I was still trying to get a glimpse of what happened then. I can’t see anything with the tears in my eyes.
I had to fight, and fight I did. I fought the hopeful notion that all was a gag and my mom will walk pass the door anytime. alive. Fought the child in me and grew up from 14 to 40. I had to learn to be an adult the hard way. God was and is with me because I could not see how I would have survived without Him. Every struggle I had, every lost way, I look for my mom and she wasn’t there. She never will be.
Before her final arrest, she was awake and was speaking to us, she said to me “You know, I was not taken yet because He knows you and your brother still needs me.” and she smiled but after a few hours she took her last breath. This is still painful to me and it feels like yesterday when I think about it. That is why I don’t. I try to remember the good times but there were so few. I had so many regrets, I should’ve kissed her every night before I go to sleep since I was a child (as if by premonition, I started kissing her at night when I turned 13), I should’ve been a nicer daughter (smart is all I have ever been but never nice) and I should’ve helped her more, I should’ve …, I should’ve…,
Too late, sigh, go ahead, that is all I could do. I changed. This tragedy changed me.
What changed in me since then? I grab every chance I get, to say what I feel, to express what I really want to do and think, to kiss in gratitude and love, to cry and comment specially to the ones I love as I don’t want to have regrets anymore. It took years to get to this stage, decades actually.
I am definitely stronger than I used to be. If given the choice I don’t mind not being this strong as long as I have my mother. This is why my attribution is always with mothers as it is the only way I could pay homage to the person I could’ve kissed and hugged more.
Life it indeed too short, we don’t live that long to experience all what life has to offer, learn from me. Take a look around, see if you are neglecting someone and kiss her/him before its too late.
Calmness is the cradle of power – Josiah Gilbert holland
Calmness is a gift. Not everyone can play, er shall we say, ‘cool’? I have been taught by my very first mentor that the key to any situation is being calm. Calm defined as ice running down ones veins. And to Justify Mr. Holland’s wisdom quote, it is a source of power. In an argument, the man with the loudest voice gets attention, but the quiet one is given consideration. He thinks steady and waits for the right time, when the ranting opponent gets tired and frustrated then he logically explains in simple words, carefully-thought-off retort that would set the opponent off guard. A chance that will give way for the silent calm man to win his war amidst the battles.
It is in calmness when logic sets in, ideas to flow, positive energy to float and emanate every fibre of a being. Taking over the scenario, taking charge of the task. I had found that being calm and in peace have its most advantage compared to stress and turmoil. It is evident in the description alone of these opposing words. Now the big question and challenge is, how does one acquire this calmness? It’s almost an impossibility with the noise, chaos, and stress we all are undergoing. Gritting our teeth, seething and fist clenching reactions are most seemingly common than peace.
Being a realist, I take it as it is. But being an optimist makes me wait for tomorrow and what my words will bring. I have high hopes to the people in the future. As long as there is wisdom, peace will be sought and when calmness is achieved there will be the universal wisdom, Oom!
May 21, 2014
Quote of the day (Ironic content)
“If I agree with you then we’ll both be wrong.”- House, M.D.
Being brutally honest has its perks. The comments that immediately leaves your lips with so little of an after thought does not leave a grating-burning-regretful sensation at the back of your throat. It actually makes you feel good speaking the truth out loud. But with that being said, why are most people who are THAT honest are termed anti-social or worst yet, a socio path?
And yes, being educated may or may influence the socio path issue, remember ethics is always the last subject prior to graduation. Then again, it could just be human nature, urging itself out and being pleased with one self.
Socio paths does not have much friends, if there is one at all. It is a condition but truth be told, honest truth is needed in this world. It is the delivery and show of proper empathic gestures would make a hard-ground-crushing remark acceptable.
But no matter, humans we all are. Any remark as long as its not good would be taken not as acceptable as a praise. As the French people say C’est bonne!
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